Friday, June 18, 2010

in Memory of tiny Albert

My friends' baby died on Wednesday, he was six months old.
They say it was SIDS, no reason, no explanation just empty aching arms.

I cannot, nor do I want to, begin to imagine their grief. My own heart is breaking as I hold my own children close to my heart and weep.

My big girl assures me that he will cross back over the rainbow bridge and become a spirit baby; there is some comfort in her assurance because we have a spirit baby of our own.

"Don’t you know about Spirit Babies? How could I know about them if you don’t? I mean, you’re my mom!" But he could see my perplexity.

So my first child, this not-yet-teenaged boy, pulled a wooden chair to my side and draped his thin arm across my shoulders, saying, "Well, Mom, here’s how it is. See, I was one myself, so that must be how I know. Anyway, every woman has a circle of babies that goes around and around above her head, and those are all the possible babies she could have in her whole life. Every month, one of those babies is first in line. If she gets pregnant, then that’s the baby that’s born. If she doesn’t get pregnant, the baby goes back into the circle and keeps going around with all the others. If she gets pregnant but something bad happens before the baby’s born…now listen, Mom, because here’s the really cool part. It goes back into the circle, but it becomes a Spirit Baby, and all the other babies give it cuts. Each month, it’s always first in line. Isn’t that great?

"So you just have to get pregnant again, and you’ll have the same Spirit Baby. If you don’t, though, then the baby circle will just beam that little Spirit Baby over to some other woman’s circle, and it’ll be first in line for her. It keeps being first in line somewhere until it finally gets born.

I have a candle burning, there is something magical about the glow and flicker of its tiny flame, it is for you wee Albert and for your Mummy and Daddy and all who loved you.


TwigandToadstool said...

Hearing about the death of a baby makes every mothers heart weep. It is what, as a mother you most dread, and you can't imagine the greif, heartache and is just beyond words. My heart goes out to your friend...I think this post will make many a mother hold their own babies closer to them, and appreciate the miracle of their lives.

Rebecca said...

Oh Shannon. I do not know them and my heart aches. Take care of yourself and yours.XX

twolittleseeds said...

I feel so sad for their loss.
What your girl said about spirit babies has made me beautiful. She is blessed. My love goes out to the baby's parents...what a deeply sad thing to happen xxx

Rachel D said...

Thank you for your kind comment on my blog. I've enjoyed browsing yours. My son attends a Waldorf school. It's so refreshing to see other Waldorf-type crafts! (I get the impression Waldorf/Steiner education is more popular in Australia than here in the US.)

My heart aches for Albert's family. No doubt he's a special little spirit.

Love Bytes said...

Omg, Shan, did I ever tell you that we lost my sister to SIDS. She was 8 weeks old. I can't articulate or even comprehend what your friends must be going through, and there is nothing I could say that would go any amount of the distance to reach what they must be feeling.

Little Albert, may your new angel wings envelope your mummy and daddy during their pain. The world is a better place due to having you in it, even if for such a short time.


Lavendilly House said...

I totally agree with the spirit baby theory. I feel so strongly that my miscarried baby was in fact my little Rosella who was conceived when my little 'spirit baby' was due to be born. Little Albert will have his chance at returning for sure :)